Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Stop It

Stop it, America.

Stop trying to make people hot. You are making us look bad in front of the rest of the world.

There are plenty of extremely attractive women in this world that we don't need to force ourselves into thinking that Pippa Middleton is hot.

She's not.

She's an above average looking girl.


She also looks about 8 years older than her real age.

She couldn't walk into a room and make every guy stop to look. She doesn't have some incredible body that makes me have to think about baseball so I don't have to sit down. I'm not even sure she could win the Canal Days pageant in my hometown of Delphos, Ohio.

She's just an above average girl that people WANT to be hot.

Same goes for Sarah Palin. She's better looking than MOST people in her position, but do you really consider this "hot":


I mean, is that where we are as a country? Are our standards to the point that the above picture is considered "hot"?

She's 47 years old. There are a lot of hot 47 year olds. In fact, Diane Lane is one year younger and looks like this:


Do you see that picture? THAT is hot. Are you really trying to convince me that Sarah Palin is on a level playing field with this.


Seriously?

Sarah Palin?

And this?


Are equal in hotness?

This is why other countries hate America. We water down hotness. We take the most pure and wonderful thing in the world (hot chicks) and dumb it down.

We've turned Pippa Middleton and Sarah Palin into the Applesbees and Wal-Mart of hot chicks.

And I won't stand for it. I demand standards.

I demand Diane Lane.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

amen

Anonymous said...

idk, I think pippa is on bar with diane, but you are right about palin that is one nasty lookin woman. Not to mention her voice make it twice as bad.

Anonymous said...

when people think their opinions are fact.

Jason (Non-Building) said...

hahahahaha, love it!!!

Allison M. said...

she is gorgeous! (diane lane) not so much the mousy middleton, but the UK is also making her hot too.

Maxie said...

this is my favorite blog post of 2011.

Alison said...

Pippa is a good looking girl, but yes, she does look more 35 than 27.

Sarah Palin is so NOT hot and I'm glad someone finally said it. She's revolting. And then she opens her mouth and it just gets worse.

Diane Lane... I wouldn't mind looking like her when I'm 46...

kwerk said...

Perfect.

Big L said...

SO LOVE THIS

Jodi Henderson said...

Diane Lane is freaking HAWT. No contest with the other two.

Toe said...

You hit it right on the nose my friend. Diane Lane FTW!

Jennee said...

Diane Lane is beautiful and there are many beautiful Americans!

Maiah said...

HA! Amazing. And well done. Besides, Pippa Middleton looks slightly like Amy Sedaris in Strangers with Candy. Not hot. Diane Lane? Always hot.

ClevelandPoet said...

I'd glad watch/listen to Diane Lane mess up historical moments any day!

David Eric Lee said...

well put, sir. well put.

Lady T said...

THANK YOU! Maybe in England that is hot, but in America.... not so much. The Middleton Sisters need to only be given props, where props are deserved. And that's not in the look department.

At best, their American Pretty.

Linda Nawrocki said...

Pippa looks a little like Marcia Brady in that pic

Christina K said...

Love it! I have had a girl crush on Diane Lane for years.

Alice said...

super she really cute.Keep posting blog like this

Anonymous said...

Who the f!@# thinks Sarah Palin is hot? Oh yeah most of the people in my country. Seriously?

zibbyj said...

Yeah she looks a lot like a Sesame Street character.

Danielle McClung said...

So...the rest of the world hates us because of the way some self-important blogger defines his belief of beauty? And all this time I thought it was because our foreign policy basically consisted of "We don't like what you did, so we will bomb you now."