Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Pittsburgh - I'm Coming For Your Brains

We are on Rocktober's Eve, Reader. The most magical time of the year! In Rocktobers past, I have filled my schedule with cheap indie rock shows, my stomach with cheap PBR tall-boys and my wallet with...nothing because the first two things cleaned me out (my wallet and my lower intestine - damn PBR).

But this year is different, instead of waking up post-concert with a slow gate and an awkward moan - I've decided to spend my night doing the same.

I am participating in Pittsburgh's ZOMBIE FEST on Sunday, October 11th.


They are trying to take back the World Record for Zombie Walkers - and damnit if it didn't reanimate my heart to help.

But with any good zombie costume comes ONE question -

The wound.

Sure - anyone can do a themed zombie - but the REAL question is how did you die (the first time)?

So many options! Pitchfork through my stomach, hatchet through my head, gun shot, stab wound, bad Tuna at that cheap sushi place, car wreck, killer bees, chocolate - the options are endless.

So my question, dear Readers - how did I die?

I've got the shuffle. I've got the moan. I even have a slight craving for brains wrapped in bacon (or braincon as I like to call it).

Give me your most creative and hilarious idea and I'll try to make it come to life.

But please - help me out.

The pressure is killing me.

25 comments:

Marie said...

You.Are.Special.

How about your head being chopped off but that didn't work so your intestines were cut out and are spilling out.

And I just freaked myself out.

Ben said...

Sexed to death. It's badass. Do it.

Gilahi said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: You lived to be 97 years old and then you were shot by a jealous husband.

Either that, or you starved to death trying to find brains in Pittsburgh.

Wv - consswim: The preferred method of escape from Alcatraz.

Sarah said...

so jealous - there was a zombie walk near me last weekend and i totally missed it. guess i'll just have to wait for the zombie dance party on halloween.

Maxie said...

I love flesh eating bacteria. I bet a lot of people are going to use swine flu. DONT DO IT.

Kellie said...

Cat scratch fever and you can cover your body w/ cat scratches.

I don't know. I'm no good at this. But Ben's idea sounds like a winner to me.

badmuthafudruckers said...

Mercury poisoning!

moooooog35 said...

You could dress up as Luke Perry's career after 90210.

Either that, or put on a hat, a sparkly glove, and have a bottle of Propofol dangling around your neck.

That Kind of Girl said...

Totally agree with Ben on the coitus interruptus mortus.

That failing, maybe crushed to death? I'm imagining internal bleeding so bad it's become an external situation...

dmb5_libra said...

i'm oddly jealous that you're doing a zombie walk.

Stephanique1 said...

Khaki pants, denim shirt, beard, and some nose candy.

longredcape said...

You were gummed to death by a toothless hobo.

LiLu said...

Christian Rapture.

FTW!!!!

Toe said...

Polio is a good one - you could be all yellow.

Liver failure - this one might be too close to the truth though.

Water/Alchohol poisoning - same as above but this might involve tubes and water spraying everyone = fun.

car crash, choked to death on bacon, you tried to replicate your own Andrew Zimmerman Bizzare places/food adventure and it went horribly wrong, your pink eye got the best of you, cyclic vomiting syndrome ruptured your stomach, internal combustion.

Toe said...

BTW I love zombies!

Ed Adams said...

I say, the David Carradine way.

Naked, dick in hand, belt tied around your neck......

Actually, that's probably old hat for you by now.

Angela said...

Gosh. I'm a forensic science student so I should be able to think of SOMETHING good. But I can't!!

But you should say hi while you're in Pittsburgh.

Jason said...

So wait... you're going to be a crawled out of the grave type of zombie... not, you got bit by another zombie zombie, right?

If you were going the other route I'd go with a crotch bite- oral from a zombie chick, you've been to West 6th... you know what that's like.

TheGuy said...

Oh this is easy.

Stiff penis through the ear.

Anonymous said...

You were at a halloween party dressed as a moose. Sarah Palin shot you.

Mike said...

Live killer bees. Glue them to yourself. Upside down so the stingers point outward. Think how much fun that would be in a crowd.

Born with a big mouth! said...

that looks like so much fun!!! and i like Ben's idea .... sexed to death :)

Lindsey Marie said...

Have fun! I'm glad I read about this, so I'm prepared for any zombies I encounter tomorrow!!

Jill Pilgrim said...

What I really love is that all of your Google ads right now are up for "Locating Sex Offenders," and "Criminal Background Checks."

Toddletown USA said...

Scientists performed an experiment on you to see if it's possible to project the movie Gigli directly into your brain. The experiment was successful, but the strain of such an awful movie stopped all other bodily functions rendering you helpless and eventually killing you.....shit how will you portray that in a costume. Plan B: killed by the Rancor.