Monday, September 7, 2009

Lucky Duck

I've been called lucky quite a few times in the last few weeks -

There was the time the lady backed into me and I was told I was "lucky" that the scratches should be able to be buffed out and not need a new bumper.

Or that I was "lucky" that the cable company was able to squeeze me in, after screwing up the first three meetings I set up.

I was "lucky" I only got stuck in a half-hour traffic jam, as people who left before me where there for an hour.

And now I am "lucky" that my brake pads and rotors will only cost a few hundred opposed to the $500-600 originally thought.

My luck sucks.

Why are the only times I get lucky when extremely bad things happen? Is that still considered luck? It should be considered "moderate suck".

Or "relative suck".

Or - "If you call me lucky as I write another check I swear to god I will stab you dead."

You see this on the news too, some horrible thing will happen and the newscaster will say the victim is lucky the bullet wasn't one inch over or it would have killed them.

THEY GOT SHOT! No matter what happens when you get shot - you are not lucky. Know what would be lucky? NOT GETTING SHOT.

If the person who got shot is lucky - what does that make the rest of us that didn't get shot? Is it a miracle?

The bullet could be made of diamonds and puppy smiles and I still wouldn't consider myself lucky for having it slice through my body.

So I might be the only "lucky" person on earf hoping and praying my luck will change -

Being lucky is too damn expensive.

9 comments:

lacochran said...

You? Complaining about getting lucky?

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

so am i lucky that when i got held up in my parking lot i didn't get shot?

yeah, i'll call that lucky.

Ben said...

Agreed. I want to be casino lucky. Not newscast lucky.

LiLu said...

Oh, thank goodness. I feel so much better about my mom saying she got lucky now.

Ed Adams said...

I have second-hand luck. It's where your in line behind the guy who gets the winning ticket, or with the person who wins the door prize, or are roommates with the guy who brings home the stripper. It's kind of like second hand smoke, except instead of killing you, it makes you wish you were dead.

miss. chief said...

A BULLET MADE OUT OF PUPPY SMILES! yes!

Mike said...

"Lucky Duck" - I hate that commercial.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL1lfSzgcAw

moooooog35 said...

Asian people are rucky.

True story.