Thursday, July 30, 2009

Jon Bon Jovial

Bon Jovi should call the Guinness Book of World Records. The man is AMAZING.

He's seen a MILLION faces; and he's rocked them all.

That is incredible.

His conversion rate of faces seen to faces rocked is 100%. I'll let that settle in for a minute.


I would say I've probably rocked...MAYBE eight faces in my life. Assuming I have also seen a million faces, that means I have rocked approximately 0.0008% of said faces.

Horrible. And even somewhat embarrassing.

I have to imagine Jon Bon is exaggerating his face rocking. I mean, what exactly constitutes a rocked face? And when a face is rocked - can it be rocked again? Is he counting the same face as being rocked multiple times?

Bold claim for a guy living on a prayer.

21 comments:

Ashley said...

I believe it. I've seen him and the face around me - all rocked.

TheGuy said...

I don't buy it. There has to be certain percentage of faces that he saw only while playing his 1994 smash ballad, "Always." I'm sure he melted their hearts, but in no way could he be said to have rocked their faces.

justjp said...

Dude, the man rides a fuckin steel horse! Of course he is going to rock a million faces, in one dose.

moooooog35 said...

A man who has never rocked a face, has never really rocked at all.

I'm totally making that into a shirt.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

you rocked my face.

why does that sound dirty?

Lana said...

what i want to know is, how is he so sure he's actually rocked all the faces he's seen?? hmmmm? is ol' jon bon making claims he can't back up?

Lily said...

This is one girl whose face he's never rocked
(wow, that sounds really dirty, somehow)

Ben said...

Has anyone tried to turn the face-rocking into something dirty yet? i.e. "I'll rock YOUR face."

Maxie said...

He's never even seen my face and he rocked it.

BLAZE OF GLORRRRRRRRRRY!

Matt said...

I feel like the only appropriate place for this convo to take place is in New Jersey.

other than that- we shouldnt talk about Bon Jovi rocking faces. Im just not comfortable with it.

Christina_the_wench said...

Stop giving love a bad name!! I'd let him rock my face and the rest of me any time, any place.

lacochran said...

Like Frankie said, he did it his way. Which, apparently, is also the Dick Clark way... of non-aging. Hope Jon doesn't wind up all strokey. Jeez, where is this comment going?

Rock my face? Oh, yeah. Jon Bon Jovi = YUM.

Marie said...

Wait, who's Bon Jovi again?


KIDDING. Kidding. You can breathe now.

Jez said...

The charts are convincing enough on the point that he rocked a million faces. His claims of bing a "cowboy" are suspect, though. IF JBJ is a cowboy, I'll kiss your ass.

Amy G said...

Best. Post. Ever.

Chris said...

Good post dude.

And what about riding a steel horse? Steel horse Jon? I get the metaphor, but c'mon.

Gilahi said...

Well, he's Italian and his real name is something like Buongiovi, so I'm thinking he simplified the spelling in deference to his fan base.

BrazenBareToe said...

Hey, that's one rocking chart.

Andhari said...

LOL how do I make my face rock? Will you please tell me?

Mike said...

John Francis Bongiovi - from wikipedia

Alexandra Bahou said...

Athough your chart is clear evidence that Bon Jovi has indeed rocked faces, the question is....can Bon Jovi rock his own face?