I love me some Obama. I voted for him, went to the rallies, got a tattoo of his face on my ass - you know, the normal stuff.
But I don't love him in the way some of you girls did after you saw him with his shirt off.
By the way - why did you print out a picture of him and lock yourself in the bathroom? And it sounded like you were using an electric razor. And did I hear you scream - "OH! Bama!" Gross. God is watching you, Reader.
But my general excitement is nothing compared to the full on Man-Crush CNN has for the man. (In this joke CNN is male - just go with it.)
Yesterday's coverage of the inauguration was like a group of 14 year old girls doing a 12 hour show about the Jonas Brothers. CNN should have consulted E! for advice on how to cover it. I am pretty sure we would have been better served with Ryan Seacrest doing interviews and Joan Rivers giving commentary.
I don't know if you've looked outside lately, but it ain't good out there. Obama may have super powers, but he can't clean this up overnight. I'm pretty sure at the CNN headquarters, Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper woke up in their race car bunk beds and went running down the stairs this morning to see what jolly ol' Obama had left under their Christmas tree. "Awwwwwwww! Tax plans! Again?"
But after the last few years I understand why there is excitement. And yesterday was a huge, huge event in American History. Bigger, perhaps than the Real World Finale. But not bigger than the Reunion Special. I can't believe _____ and _____ got in a fight! And that _____ and _____ broke up! (This is Real World Mad Libs - just fill in cast members from your favorite season.)
But the single greatest moment of reporting came around 10:30am -
"Ok - as you can see some of senators have decided to wear hats. Notice not ALL of them have hats on - some have decided to brave the cold. There is Senator Kennedy - he does NOT have a hat. Behind him are a few more hats."
If only Ryan Seacrest were there to get the full scoop.