Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The O-bomb-a

I love me some Obama. I voted for him, went to the rallies, got a tattoo of his face on my ass - you know, the normal stuff.

But I don't love him in the way some of you girls did after you saw him with his shirt off.

By the way - why did you print out a picture of him and lock yourself in the bathroom? And it sounded like you were using an electric razor. And did I hear you scream - "OH! Bama!" Gross. God is watching you, Reader.

But my general excitement is nothing compared to the full on Man-Crush CNN has for the man. (In this joke CNN is male - just go with it.)

Yesterday's coverage of the inauguration was like a group of 14 year old girls doing a 12 hour show about the Jonas Brothers. CNN should have consulted E! for advice on how to cover it. I am pretty sure we would have been better served with Ryan Seacrest doing interviews and Joan Rivers giving commentary.

I don't know if you've looked outside lately, but it ain't good out there. Obama may have super powers, but he can't clean this up overnight. I'm pretty sure at the CNN headquarters, Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper woke up in their race car bunk beds and went running down the stairs this morning to see what jolly ol' Obama had left under their Christmas tree. "Awwwwwwww! Tax plans! Again?"

But after the last few years I understand why there is excitement. And yesterday was a huge, huge event in American History. Bigger, perhaps than the Real World Finale. But not bigger than the Reunion Special. I can't believe _____ and _____ got in a fight! And that _____ and _____ broke up! (This is Real World Mad Libs - just fill in cast members from your favorite season.)

But the single greatest moment of reporting came around 10:30am -

"Ok - as you can see some of senators have decided to wear hats. Notice not ALL of them have hats on - some have decided to brave the cold. There is Senator Kennedy - he does NOT have a hat. Behind him are a few more hats."

If only Ryan Seacrest were there to get the full scoop.

23 comments:

Marie said...

Political commentators know fashion, don't they?

All I heard when I was there were all those people greeting each other.

lacochran said...

My god, man! You really did find the one piece of scoop in their vapid coverage. Kennedy didn't wear a hat? That may have brought the seizure on!

Deutlich said...

"Yesterday's coverage of the inauguration was like a group of 14 year old girls doing a 12 hour show about the Jonas Brothers"

I would've taken a bullet to the face before enduring something like that.

I mean.

Really.

blue-eyed brunette said...

Oh my god. YOU should have been on CNN doing the commentary.
It would have been like this "So, Obama just came out of the white house, He looks like he just took a big dump. I wonder if his normal "go time" is 10:00am?" - If it is I shall make my normal "go time" 10:00am."

You are the best commentatorer ever.

LBluca77 said...

I am still a bit teary eyed from everything yesterday. Obamama looked amazing as well.

You really should work for CNN.

moooooog35 said...

Yep. Ted Kennedy didn't wear a hat and look what it got him.

One seizure and he lost out on the free lunch.

Next time, Ted...wear the hat.

Kristen said...

It must be hard to be a commentator. I mean you have to keep talking the whole time and eventually?

You got nothin' but some hats.

That was some damn fine reporting if you ask me.

Bon Don said...

man on man crushes are super sexy!

I'm off to the restroom with my electric razor...

Julie_Gong said...

Aretha Franklin's hat was by far the best hat in the bunch.

Matt said...

So you didn't cry after his speech?

surviving myself said...

It's true - CNN LOVES Obama. And I think someone needs to keep an eye on Anderson Cooper - dude is so gonna sneak a kiss.

LiLu said...

Truly, it was hilarious... Anderson Cooper must have been doing "the tuck" all day long, bc you know he had a raging hard on...

Kellie said...

Hats are a very important fashion statement obviously.

And honestly, seeing Obama w/ his shirt off just didn't do it for me. Not that it was bad, but after all the hoopla over it I think I was expecting too much and it was a giant let down. Boo.

Krystal said...

too bad I missed the CNN commentary. The commentary that I heard on the AM station in my city consisted of (and i def blogged about it):
"And here comes former President Bill Clinton with a yellow scarf and white hair..."
"Next we have George H. Bush and his wife in matching purple scarves - they are matching, they have accessorized!"
"Rahm is looking handsome...looking tan"

So@24 said...

You can just use "Puck" in all of those blanks at it'll make all the sense in the (real) world.

Arjewtino said...

So hats prevent seizures? Got it.

rs27 said...

hold on. I will not let these commentors deface Anderson cooper like this. Calling Anderson Cooper gay is blasphemy. Who will you shed your gay wrath on next?!?! Neil Patrick Harris? Ellen Degeneres? Bon jovi?

Will it never end?!!?

Baking With Plath said...

I think Obama gave Anderson Cooper like 72 boners yesterday but I'm just guessing.

Giggle Pixie said...

Seems like it's like that with anything in the media these days. I swear, they could over-sensationalize someone taking a crap.

Regardez Moi said...

aahah, i missed the hat comment.

this is my first time here on your blog. Your Beard Is Good told me about you. I'm glad I came. Now I'm going to go read more...

20-Something said...

You had me at hello. All I had to do was read, "I love me some Obama," and I fell in love with you just a little bit more.
Now my "OH! Bama!!" Will be replaced with "Oh! NARM!!"

(Inappropriate.)

AMANDA said...

I agree...I think there was a bit too much coverage. I watched him being sworn in and his speech. That was enough for me.
However, if the entire 14 hours of coverage would have been a shirtless Obama, I am sure I would have watched it all.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

Um... was anyone else annoyed with how much everyone was talking about Michelle O's outfits? I mean, the woman is smart and doesn't belong on that effing Fashion Police show with that annoying Debbie Matenapoulus chic. (BTW, Narm, Fashion Police is also on E!. You'd probably like it b/c they show lots of boobies popping out of dresses.)